The Maddogs Cricket club

It is incredible to think that what was once a scratch side of immigrant poms convened once a year to play an equally scratch bunch of Australians has now evolved into a formal cricket club with a home ground and a busy fixture list.  But that is in fact what has happened.  

Today the Maddogs Blog can announce a full fixture list for the 2012-13 season, with all eight matches taking place at our new adopted home - the Alan Davidson Oval, the use of which we have South's Cricket Club to thank (of whom we are now affiliate members).

The new fixtures list features many of last year's stiff (by which I mean challenging, rather than drunk!) opposition and so promises a number of entertaining matches - and as always provides the opportunity for individual Maddogs to dignify or completely humiliate themselves. This year I'm hoping for once to try a bit of the former rather than the latter!

The Stingers match in particular saw an enthrallingly tight result on a beautiful afternoon and so three repeats of that encounter is quite mouth-watering (not just because of all the beer we'll drink afterwards!)

We of course have our annual series with the Australians, which never ceases to entertain with the many years now of history between us.  The Northern Force and The Goons equally have proved worthy adversaries in the past and will again - and every year as our abilities improve, commensurate with our appetite for the post-match festivities, the occasion becomes ever more enjoyable.  So here it is - the 2012/13 season, weather permitting:

30th September - 2012 Bronte Stingers

14th October - Newington Fathers

18th November - Ashes

16th December - Bronte Stingers

13th January 2012 - The Goons

3rd February - Bronte Stingers

17th February - Ashes

10th March - Northern Force

So please do come along and watch and join in the festivities afterwards.  There are worse things to do on a summer's day than lie on the grass listening to that iconic sound of leather on willow - or you can just nod off.  All are welcome - young and old.  In time perhaps we hope to have our own Barmy Army-type support crew - The Maddogs Pack?

Kudos and thanks to the founder and fearless leader of the Maddogs - Giles Bourne - for pulling together such an awesome season, and to our Treasurer Ed Subtle for making sure we can pay for it all.  Without the tireless endeavours of these two gentlemen, there would be no Maddogs!  

 

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As another season draws to a close, the Maddogs set aside an evening dedicated to pastime perhaps even more important than cricket - dinner - in order to relfect on the season's exploits.  Our President and founder Giles Bourne took time to call out a number of the stand-out endeavours of a season that saw a very respectable tally of five wins from seven.

[Giles: insert notes of speech here]

But it also brought an opportunity to recall my first game for the 'Dogs back in 2006 - here was my report for the match:

The 2006 Birchgrove Ashes 

Six months later, the Ashes defeat still stings badly down under.  This was more than  evident at the recent Alan Border Medal Awards night – the annual Cricket Australia love-in and back-slapping fest in Sydney.  As part of the festivities former English Spin bowler and heroic drug taker, Phil Tuffnell, was invited to pay Australian Captain Rickey Ponting, or “The Punter”, a tribute as he was in Australia, apparently on a drinking tour.  

On video, at a bar, Phil teased “The Punter” harmlessly about one of the lost tests, relishing the decision he took to put England into bat after winning the toss, and England promptly scored 477!  “Nice one Punter, cheers mate” said Tuffnell.  Could Mr Ponting see the funny side?  Could he f$%#!  He held an impromptu press conference on how inappropriate the comment was on their special night.   

This dramatic sense of humour failure was not lost on another group of English cricket players – of which I was one – as they prepared the ground for their own admittedly smaller scale – but no less important - Ashes contest in Balmain this weekend.  As the email sledging between the Australians and the Poms escalated in the days before, the 

English captain asked if the Australians might get too upset.  The Australian captain did reply – tongue in cheek –  

“I had thought it was clearly understood that this was to be one-way traffic.  If we are expected to put up with the deeply upsetting comments being fired at us, then anyhumour in the situation has completely disappeared.  The rules are the rules.  You are the good natured bumbling self deprecating types and we are the arrogant aggressive upstarts – evenly balanced with a chip on each shoulder. If we can’t even get the basic stereotypes right what hope does this fixture have.” 

Stereotypes do indeed flourish when pitting nation against nation.  The sledging – which included references to Mr Jardine and the Bodyline tour - had underlined it: the English never washed, the Australians were bad losers.  It was clear on the morning of the game that there were two quite different people playing.  The Poms all arrived early and quickly set about practicing their catching; the Australians were late and made no such effort.  The Poms had a couple of nets sessions – at the SCG – and the Australians deliberately put in no practice whatsoever.  The Poms arrived with special shirts organised with three lions (finally, I had ‘three lions on my shirt’!) and “Birchgrove 

Ashes 2006” emblazoned on them; the Australians had no such uniform, and one didn’t even wear shoes!  The Poms all had quiet nights before hand, the Australians showed no such diligence, with one player not even making it home. All of that, of course, is what makes the absolute thrashing we received so hard to stomach! 

The Poms won the toss and put the Aussies into bat – an ironic reprise of the stuff of Mr Tufnell’s taunt as it turned out.  The players took the field and the match began with the first ball bowled at 11.30am.  There can be few finer grounds in Sydney – the SCG included – for a game of cricket (in my humble opinion).  Set deep in the richest depths of Balmain, the Birchgrove Oval borders Louisa Road where Acting Royalty Brian Brown and Rachel Ward live, and is not far from Judy Davis.  Surrounded by beautiful 

The first session saw a consistent batting effort from the Australians but a couple of early wickets buoyed the Poms whose team spirit was strong after bonding sessions in the nets and in the pub – classic ex-pat espirit-de-corps.  The Australians shuffled out casually one after the other and hit consistently, but their laissez-fair demeanour very effectively lulled the Poms into a false sense of security.  There was no indication of the thrashing that was afoot. 

For my own part, I think I gave a reasonably good account of myself.  In these things its always most important not to let the team down.   I did bowl three overs, and was accredited with a wicket; but feel the bowler is only accredited with the catch in the event of a grand master plan – of which I had none.  I took my own catch a little later.  I was thrilled until I realised that the lack of plaudits on this occasion was due to the fact that it didn’t count, it was the batsman’s first ball – so he wasn’t allowed to be out!  When an opportunity did come my way I botched it by running in to meet it, only to watch it go over my head and land exactly where I was standing in the first place – to much hilarity from the Australian pavilion. 

As the first forty overs came to an end, the Australians – which we soon discovered 

included a semi-pro pair of brothers – accrued an impressive 213 runs.  But the Poms remained confident – continueing in the belief that we had a strong batting line-up.  Only a fairly comedic double-ended run-out disaster in the last over of the Australian innings betrayed the reality of the rout that was to ensue.   

But first there was BBQ sausages – or ‘snags’ – and beers to be enjoyed as both teams briefly forgot the battle and enjoyed each other’s company – and that of their wives, girlfriends and children who had by then arrived to witness the contest. 

Then the slaughter began.  At first the main problem was that the thick grass and the very accurate – and deceptively slow – bowling conspired to mean that the openers simply weren’t getting the required run rate of six-an-over consistently enough.  But while hope would always suggest this might pick up, that hope started to recede as the wickets came.  

One after another, key batsmen fell and with each new scalp the confidence of the Poms and the Aussies took equal and opposite trajectories.  It even got to the point where – job clearly comprehensively done – an esky of beer was appropriated and positioned behind one of the wickets and thus the Australians added to their fielding strength a collection of beer bottles scattered around the ground.  With every ball right on target, each ambitious attempt to score runs – requiring a big hit to get over the thick grass – was met by that most soul destroying of all noises, the destruction of one’s wicket. 

My batting efforts were back-dropped by the mood of depression and pessimism that pervaded the English camp by the time I went in, at number 10 with only 80-odd runs scored.  After settling in after an over or two and with one or two runs under my belt, I 

It is ironic that all the time, the radio in the pavilion played to deaf ears the story of “The Punter” and his men making a stand against Sri Lanka following a disastrous 3 for 10 opening to go on to score 300-odd runs to win the match.  If only we’d listened, it might have brought some inspiration.   

Nevertheless, the bon-homerie, the weather and the setting meant everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves – especially considering the slipping, falling and clumsiness that accompanies the later stages of a beer-fuelled encounter.  Both teams retired to the alternative pavilion – the nearby William Wallace Hotel – for the presentations.    

The Birchgrove Ashes has little in common with the real deal.  Despite the torching of a bail on the BBQ, the cup contained no ashes.  Also, the well-earned (or is that ‘urned’?) award actually gets to reside with the winning captain and not in thousands of miles away.  But certainly what does remain consistent is the heart-felt passion and desire behind the now annual competition.   

Bring on 2007 – and go on the Poms!

(This post has already received more than 5,000 on my home blog.)

Of course The Ashes series here in Australia has dominated the summer; a contest involving a strong rivalry, oscillating fortunes, controversy and naturally some great performances with bat and ball that has done the game of cricket proud.  But at the risk of trying the patience of those more than over the subject,  there’s also been another series, going by the same name and involving many of the same characteristics – but one also I like to think doing the game proud.

While the first has been dione and dusted for very nearly two months now, this somewhat smaller and less well known contest came to its denouement today in the tense final minutes as the English tail wagged and the series came down right to the wire after looking all but there for the taking for the Australians.

Now I should add, this is not a professional series.  In fact this effort is so amateur there wasn’t one nets session the whole summer.  The crowd was considerably less than the hundreds of thousands who attended the other Ashes, and no one watched it on television.  While there was some sponsorship, it amounted to a few hundred dollars invested in shirts a couple of years ago – and we are still wearing them.

But make no mistake, there was just as much at stake.

With Australia taking the first match back in November – at the same venue, Tunks Park on Sydney's North Shore; and England taking the second (which I was not able to play in) in December in Balmain, the series was level.

The rules are very slightly different too: 35 overs, forced retirement after scoring 25 runs (able to come back in later when all the other batsmen are out), five overs only per bowler and a free hit for the one’s first ball.  The atmosphere of “everyone should have a go” drives the game to ensure to full participation.  God knows with the quality of my batting and bowling, I’m a big fan of these rules!

Some early and impressive wickets from the dangerous bowling of England Captain, Mr Garvey, and England looked confidently in control before the bowlers and fielders tired in the 30 degree heat and the Australians ran up an intimidating 213 by the 35th over.  For the Australians, Mssrs Finn and Clarke in particular, the bat became an extension of their arms and the runs just kept coming and the chances were missed (not least when I perplexingly dropped a sitter of a catch!)  But with a wicket in the last over, we at least went into tea upbeat.

The English batting got off to a fairly strong start after one early wicket and a successful chase was built – mainly by the Man of the Match, Mr Cutler, carrying an unhealed broken thumb.  But then calamity struck.  A mid-order batting collapse any English side would have been proud of.  Suddenly the required run rate got away from us and the wickets piled up.  Penetrative bowling by the Australians  did for the English – myself included, caught behind for 7 – and by tea, even their English team mates had given up and began making plans for the evening.

But quietly, while the crowd – numbering about twenty people, half of them under 10 – became embroiled in preparing food, drinking beer and generally chewing the fat, the English tag wagged.  And wagged. And wagged.  Eleventh Man Mr Riley built successive partnerships with returning 25-ers Mssrs Cutler and Garvey and before long the target was in sight.  Suddenly it was 23 runs needed from 18 balls.  The total was finally put away with a loudly-cheered six in the last over and the poms stole the series 2-1.

After eight years – five of which I have been lucky enough to be involved - the whole rivalry is now locked at four-four.  Season 2011-12 will no doubt take the tension to a new level!

Amid all the Ashes excitement in Australia, you wouldn’t imagine that there is a small grave in a field in Belgium with profound and poignant relevance to the world’s oldest sporting rivalry.  But I traced that very link from a last minute invitation to a very small ceremony in the Oxford Road Cemetery in Ieper (previously known as Ypres and colloquially known as “Wipers” by British troops during the First World War.)

Colin Blythe was a Sergeant in the King’s Own Yorkshire Light Infantry and was killed somewhat arbitrarily - like so many others - by a random shell in the battle of  Passchendaele  in November 1917.

 

Colin, also known as Charlie, was also thought one of the finest spin bowlers of the pre-war period, and played several tests for England - including Ashes series in England and Australia.  In 2009, the year that England reclaimed the Ashes from Australia after the debacle of the 2006/7 series, the England cricket team visited the Oxford Road Cemetery where  a stone cricket ball was laid at the grave of England and Kent bowler Blythe. "It was a deeply moving and humbling experience," said captain Andrew Strauss.

Also laid at the grave was a small miniature cricket bat, which was recently and astonishingly stolen.  And so it was decided by members of Kent Country Cricket Club (for whom he played) that it should be replaced and a ceremony was scheduled to dedicate it.  It was a very small, brief (6 minutes) but dignified ceremony – conducted by my father, the Chaplain to the nearby St George’s Memorial Church, Ieper  (which you can watch here on You Tube.)

The whole experience put today's Ashes events in quite startling perspective for me.

It’s an arresting place to visit.  Certainly not one of the large grave yards – for there are several vast cemeteries in the area to accommodate the hundreds of thousands of war dead in the area through 1914-1918.  But the Oxford Road Cemetery in particular is important for its location as well as for its significant resident. Situated just metres away from an important field dressing post on the road back from the  Passchendaele  Battle front.  Of the several hundred graves there, many of them all died within a few days of each other – between the 24^th October and the 7^th November 1917.  Of the graves there, all are of gentlemen younger than myself – which makes me very sad.

But as you tour around the rest of the area, you appreciate how lucky Mr Blythe is to have such a grave at all, let alone one so well attended.  Many of the graves in that cemetery are of an “Unknown Soldier” – sometimes its not even clear of what nationality.  But so many of the war dead were never even found. The grand Menin Gate in Ieper town centre records the names of some 56,000 British Empire dead – Canadian, Australian, Indian, New Zealand and South African as well as British – the remains of whom were never even found amid the mud of the Ypres Salient.

(More pictures of the Oxford Road Cemetery here.)

 

 

I'm of course well aware that there are many in the world find it staggering alone that a game of cricket - of anything in fact - can take five days to complete.  It is therefore even more galling to people that at the end of that process you can still not even have a result!  I recognise that this may seem a little stagnant, stale or futile even.  But I must reassure those worried about the wasted energy, time and money invested in cricket, despite the draw the first  Ashes test in Brisbane has been one of the best examples of why test cricket surpasses anything for sporting drama and excitement and was well worth it regardless.  The drama and significance of the long weekend entirely negated any apparent anti-climax a draw might be accused of. 

In answer to someone asking after my health this past weekend, I did in fact admit that my mood and spirits were entirely dictated by the cricket, and at that particular moment this was not positive.  Its hard to describe the horribly and deeply sick feeling I and millions of others experienced when the English Captain Andrew Strauss was out on his third ball (especially given the ghosts of our last start here); or the disbelief and horror I felt as Peter Siddle savaged through the English batting middle order in one over and in consecutive balls, taking a historic rare-as-hen's-teeth hat trick (only the third in more than a century of Ashes cricket). These miserable events were happening to me almost as much as they were to the players involved.  (The degree to which your own interests are at stake when you are a pom living in Australia cannot be overstated.  That's not to say that it's any more important to a pom in Australia than someone living in Fulham.  It isn't.  But as a collective we are considerably more exposed.  Social media has meant this at times light hearted banter, and at other times verbal combat, is all pervasive of course - as Ashley Kerekes (aka @theashes) can attest.)

The oscillating emotions experienced by a test cricket student (and with a myriad of statistics and history to keep across, to consume an ashes test match is more like study than spectating) covers an entire spectrum from end to end.  Especially when it involves the often unpredictable English sporting temperament.  Shortly before Peter Siddle took three wickets in consecutive balls - on his birthday no less - I had been talking to my father online.  He had just risen, living in the northern hemisphere, and asked how the cricket had gone on the first day.  At that point it was looking relatively comfortable despite Strauss' early and fruitless exit.  "But" I said, "it just depends on how the middle order do."  Not ten minutes later Siddle scalped his three hat trick victims, Pietersen, Prior and Broad -they *were* that middle order!   That is how quickly test cricket can turn.

England were doomed twice during the course of the match and came back twice, with bat and ball, to steal a draw from defeat's jaw.  Australia too were in turn dominant and dictated to during separate phases of the turbulent five day battle.  Hussey and Haddin's 307 partnership was truly awesome in it's perseverance and determination - particularly amid what Haddin describes as the "toughest and highest quality test bowling you’re going to get".  Yet Cooks's historic 235 run contribution to the final 517/1 2nd innings English total was equally inspiring and even miraculous - the highest total ever without losing a second wicket.  (After so many appalling English batting collapses, its also impossible to decribe how much delight those figures brought.)

The match saw the establishment of two new National heroes - Cook and Siddle - yet both were not even certain to make the team only a month before the test.  While it saw the dramatic debut of one new player, the phlegmatic Steve Finn who got a six-for (six wickets from his bowling), it probably also saw the death nail in Mitchell johnson's career who's bowling endeavors cost 170 runs for no wicket, fielding saw a dropped catch and batting saw a 19-ball duck.  

Finally anyone familiar with the history of The Gabba, (affectionately known in Australia as the Gabbatoir) and its usually fatal impact on the ambitions of so many visiting teams cannot possibly deny the importance of a draw there.  But anyway, what is so exciting is that whatever happened in Brisbane, anything can happen.  Despite the most impressive English batting performance since 1924, and the highest Gabba Total since Bradman; Sir Ian Botham's warning about Australian sporting virility still rings true and should deter any complacency - "you can pick eleven random blokes off an Aussie beach and still expect a decent game from them". 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A good game of country cricket does banter, drama and comedy in a way no other sport can.

This weekend The Birchgrove Maddogs took on the Friendly Inn Pub team from Kangaroo Valley.  Well we played most of them.  It turns out that about half the side had double-booked themselves to play football the same afternoon (Football Association that is).  So unfortunately their captain began the match with only 4 players!  Additionally, what he didn’t know was that we had drafted a pair of local “ringers” for the match, one of whom (Cameron Belshaw) was a 1st Grader.  The same thing happened to  us once so we thought it was the go.  Two years ago we played a team in Goulburn and their first grader at one point entertained himself by smacking four balls in a  row high into the air and down the throat of one poor boundary fielder who dropped all of them  - understandably.   We were soundly thrashed.  So we did feel for their captain, Hugh – who fortunately enjoyed the funny side.

The setting was spectacular – amid one of only seven fully enclosed valleys in the world.  For anyone that has been, you will agree its a very special place.  For those that haven’t: do. And when you do, a beer and pie in The Friendly Inn is a must.

Obviously, after some furious telephone work, he was able to draft in replacements and their ranks swelled to nine.  But you have to assume it wasn’t his first choice team.  It wasn’t our’s either – numbering only ten...but we did bring a secret weapon. The first over saw the opener, Denver, get a direct hit off the second ball – right on the jawbone off Cam Belshaw's second ball.  The cheap ball our Captain bought was coming off the astro crease at a horrible speed.  It was changed.  The second over – from ringer #2, Paul Hodges – saw the ball regularly dance around the off stump, hitting it on two occasions.  The mis-match already looked stark.  We wondered how long we would be in the field – it didn’t look like more than a couple of overs.  We also wondered if we would get out of Kangaroo Valley alive if it carried on like this.

Thankfully it didn’t, and while it was a blatant and unfortunate mis-match, the Friendly Inn Team – by name and nature – made a stand and made a match of it.  The number three batsman made a half-century.  We had to drop our two opening bowlers for being embarrassingly accurate and fast – however we put them back on again towards the end when we realised we could even be in trouble!  Ringer #2 had to refrain from his usual action though and was forced to attempt spin bowling.  It took about two overs before he got the hang of that and the wickets fell again.  I managed three overs, one of which a maiden, and one of which saw the comedy of three dropped catches – one of them by me! Another comedy highpoint was Seamus Collins (taker of a very good catch) and his never-ending over which extended to about 10 balls after wides and no-balls. He got much better after that.

Our other bowlers put on a thorough effort and we felt like we were playing cricket.  The fielding was relatively tight, with the exception of the moment when almost every member of the Maddogs team ended up involved in a bizarre double over-throw incident that saw the batsmen almost unable to run for their laughing.  There were some impressive catches – two of which from Charlie our captain leading from the front - and not unusually none of them from me.  At tea (well, beer) 133 was the target after 30 overs. 

The run chase was brief and rapid and actually quite noisy with sixes and fours a common theme, and included one batsman hitting his mate's car for delightful comedy value.  The target was chased down in about 15 overs at the cost of only one wicket.  Naturally the secret weapon hid a rapid 50 and we retired him so our wicket keeper could have a go and we retired him after he made 42!  The final denouement was omething of an anticlimax and after some jolly hand-shaking,  everyone hit the well-named pub from which the local team derived their name where it was joyfully agreed that this would be an annual fixture!

On the way home we researched a new venue for next season: The (hallowed) Bradman Oval.

Note sure of a report exists of this match, but I have found an album online of the match, exists, but I found an album online so here it is for the archive.  Pretty sure we won this one quite conclusively with awesome battings performances from Charlie Inglefield and Tim Carroll and some blinding bowling from Garves?

 

Our first away match and one of the very first non-Ashes matches of the newly formed Maddogs, anyone who was on this trip won't forget it in a hurry.  Again, not sure if a match report exists anywhere, but this was certainly one of those games that "builds character".  The Galah's were a team Ed put us in touch with, but whom had recently won The ABC Grandstand Australian Cricket Club of the year.  So you'd have to ask what the hell we thought we were doing.  The maddnes was emphasised by the fact that we played the match in a dis-used psychiatric hospital just outside Goulburn.  

We were soundly thrashed, but in a nice way.  We retired to thelocal pub to drink several ales with a team we didn't manage to re-schedule with, but whom were jolly nice chaps all the same.  Certainly, they have achieved a model of international touring club which we should all aspire to make the Maddogs into in time.

Anyway, here are some pics for the archive: